Bitter

Today I realized right from the start that I was just gonna be in one of those moods...bitchy, bitter and just mean. We currently have a court-martial starting tomorrow and then my court starting next Monday. My birthday. yay. Happy Birthday to me. I will be in and out of work all weekend so there won't be any Birthday party or celebrating for me. Honestly, I can't even remember the last time I actually celebrated my birthday, that's a lie...yes I can remember. I have been in the military the last 7 years....lets do a re-cap as to where I have been for my B-days. I left a month after my 18th birthday for the military. That year I had the biggest and best birthday party I can remember to date. I'm sure it involved lots of maybe not so legal things but I won't go there peeps...I was like 18 and I was about to join the military :) My 19th birthday I was in Iraq, My 20th birthday I was packing my bags and loading them on a bus to head to Baghdad, Iraq, My 21st Birthday I was passed out drunk in my front yard, left to fend for myself because of my awesome ex-husband. From what I hear I really partied it up that year...yea...I don't even remember it. My 22nd Birthday I literally....no joke was sitting in BWI awaiting a flight to Atlanta Georgia, after returning from Balad, Iraq. Just one more day earlier and I could have celebrated that birthday :/ Oh, and may I add that day particulary I turned my cellphone back on and recieved multiple calls during that 4 hour layover all to inform me my ex-husband was cheating and had moved out of our house. Welcome Home and Happy Birthday Heather! My 23rd birthday my roomates and friends were all deployed. I sat a home that year and did nothing. My 24th...Oh wait that was last year! I was packing my bags to leave for Paralegal tech school!!! The next day...off I went to Maxwell, AFB. Here it is my big 25th and my hubby isn't here and once again the military will be screwing with my day. Look, I get it...we are big kids now and Birthday's don't mean shit but seriously it's the one day of the year where it's supposed to be about YOU!...aka as ME! and I can't even get that much.
Ok, I'm seeing a trend this blog thing seems to be where I just go to bitch. So for those of you that "follow me" I'm sorry this isn't an inquisitive outlook to my life, I dont have anything of any substance to share this is just me...bitching about my life because well, right now that's what I do best. But let me try and share some good things--My papa is flying in on Friday to come help me, he raised me and is like my Dad, and I find it funny he has to help raise my child! It will be nice to have company because I have to admit I live a lonely life these days. Last night...I laid on my bed, no tv or anything for 3 hours before I decided maybe I would get up and attempt to be productive. He is staying through the 27th I think and then that weekend Andrew comes home for the 4 July weekend. I am so stoked. It's been nearly 9+ weeks since we last saw him and we still have 5 more to go. I know Lyla will love to see her Daddy even if it's just a few hours. I'm done with the pity party for tonight. Tomorrow is a new day and I promise on everything I love I am always grateful for that. Even in my most bitter mood I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. This isn't easy, but I know I will figure things out. You know what time it is....picture share time!

My 21st Birthday, I was about 30 pounds heavier here...no big deal but um yeah...wow. This was an interesting night.

Here I am, my 23rd Birthday sitting at the BWI airport. Pretty sure I hadn't slept in like 3 days. (our plane broke in Germany...we spent 48 hours there...drinking.) Anyways...That guy to MY right...that's SrA Chad Rice. He passed away Jan 21st of last year. Glad I got to spend that birthday next to a really great guy. That was one shitty/awesome day. I was on home soil...but my heart was shattered into a million pieces. You would have never been able to tell from this picture. Anyways..cheers to the past 25 years of my life...Monday will come and go and it will be just another hash mark on my calendar, and maybe even my insurance will go down? :)