Hi my name is Heather..

and I am a hot mess...

I have all the right intentions but never know how to express them the right way. I hate when I don't get my way and if I could...I would stomp my feet and pout for just about anything.

I miss Andrew, I want my husband back, work is on my last nerve and some days..I just want to come home and cry in my bed and go to sleep. But the reality is, I've got a sweet girl (half the time) who is relying on me, and will never for a moment let Mommy forget that she must be cared for. This month is overwhelming, I feel as if this month could quite possibly be the most intense month this year. I need to get thru it...I have to study, I need to pass my CDC's so that I can get it out of the way. My court is on the 31st, Nani flys in, and then June is here. No Bolder Boulder this year....whatever--least I got my shirt. :) Life is more important than running a race. Even though running this one meant a ton. I was running in Memory of Chavis. But I know that I don't need to run 6 miles for him to know I think of him. He is still so real and alive in my life as he was 5 years ago. I see his smile, I hear his laugh and know he is with me.

My Amazing squad...and Chavis up top. We sure were a family...

My wonderful friend who made me smile when all I wanted to do was cry, he pushed me through when I felt weak and made me laugh when I was as angry as can be. I could always count on him for that. I'm emotional tonight...I'm sick of never having enough time, never enough hands and always missing someone, something...I look forward to attending church on Sunday. It is the first time in a LONG time. I am nervous for this little adventure on my own. No one's hand to hold or shoulder to lean on. But I'll make it. I always do.



I'm calling it quits for tonight. It was a crappy crappy day...I just want it to go away.